What Trust Is
by Wolf of Summer
Summary: Lelouch loses a crucial part of his memory two days before the Zero Requiem, leaving Suzaku to pick up the pieces. Suzaku/Lelouch if you squint.


**Yes, there are some inconsistencies. I wrote this in an hour. Enjoy!**

oOo

If there was one thing that C.C. hated more than being denied her pizza, it was being woken up before ten in the morning.

Therefore, she felt totally justified to hiss "There _better_ be a good reason for this." when Suzaku came busting into her room at fucking six in the morning.

"Lelouch lost his memory."

Well. That changed things.

oOo

Lelouch was sitting sleepily on the edge of his bed when Suzaku and C.C. dashed back in. His face brightened the slightest bit when he saw Suzaku, then tightened warily as C.C. appeared from behind him.

"Suzaku, who is she?" He asked slowly, flinching as C.C. kneeled in front of him to inspect his eyes. They were their now-natural red color, since he'd just woken up and had yet to put his contacts in.

"That's C.C." Suzaku sighed. "She'll be able to help, probably. I hope."

"What's wrong? You've been acting like this ever since we woke up. Am I missing something? Seriously, where are we? I don't recognize this…"

"Uh…" Suzaku paused as C.C. stood up and beckoned him out of the room. "Hang on, I'll explain in a moment. Just…don't move for now."

Outside, C.C. looked grim. "As far as I can tell, it's a side-effect of such repeated use of his Geass and so much stress in these last few months. No, no, let me finish—" She held up a finger, stopping Suzaku's surprised retort. "He's reverted back to a point similar to when Charles stole his memory; which means he doesn't remember me but you're still his closest friend. That said, he still knows he was a prince, and remembers Nunnally and their visit to you, but little about what's happened recently."

"But—the Requiem! How—it's in two days! I—I…I can't…" Suzaku stuttered, looking at his feet. "If he isn't…can't remember, what should I do?"

C.C. sighed. "Best thing to do would probably be to try and get his memory back before then. He's already announced the executions, and we can't back out on that part now."

"I'll go…talk to him."

oOo

When Suzaku walked wearily back in, Lelouch was at his side in an instant. "Suzaku, what's wrong? What did that woman say? Am I sick?"

Suzaku laughed humorlessly. "You could say that."

Lelouch fixed him with a stare that to anyone else would not have betrayed any of his nervousness. "Well?"

Suzaku gestured to the bed. They both sat, and Suzaku leaned his head on his hands, unable to look at Lelouch.

"You've lost your memory."

There was a pause, then "Is that all?"

Suzaku whipped his head up. "It's serious!"

Lelouch put a hand on Suzaku's leg and looked at him with an honest gaze that Suzaku hadn't seen in a long while. "We've worked through things before. I trust you will help me."

Ah. This Suzaku couldn't handle. If it was like this, then they could still go through with the Zero Requiem, but...

He'd have to kill a Lelouch that trusted him to keep him safe, and that was just something he couldn't think about right then.

Instead, he let out a shaky breath. "Yeah, Lelouch. I need you to trust me, and I'll help."

oOo

Somehow, those two days of frantic research and planning went by slower than anything Suzaku had ever experienced. Lelouch was patient and did whatever Suzaku told him. In return, Suzaku told him little bits about what was going on without getting too into detail, because C.C. had said that part of the problem was stress, and re-stressing Lelouch certainly wasn't the answer to the problem. However, Suzaku had told Lelouch that he was his knight, and that he'd been a prince and was now the holder of the throne, and Lelouch had smiled that smile at him that was really only meant for Nunnally and, Suzaku realized, was for him as well, but Lelouch simply hadn't been able to because of all the fighting and planning that they'd been doing. And it was through that that Suzaku realized that he was also one of Lelouch's precious ones, and that it wasn't all about giving _just_ Nunnally a peaceful world.

He also learned that Lelouch had wanted Suzaku to be his knight since nearly the beginning. Somehow, the thought was bittersweet. It meant Lelouch loved and trusted him, but at what cost would it now be? The same knight was supposed to kill him within a day, and Suzaku couldn't help but realize the tragedy that was Lelouch's life. It seemed everything he loved was destined to hurt him or be taken from him.

When all of their research turned out to be in vain, Suzaku broke down in Lelouch's arms during his final night. True to his word, Lelouch had trusted Suzaku with everything he could, trusting that having the boy as his knight meant Suzaku had nothing his best interest at heart. He'd stayed away from the television, radio, everything, had pretty much spent the last two days of his life cooped up in the lavish but ultimately dark bedroom, and Suzaku was the witness to what would be the tragic, sad ending of a boy that had trusted the wrong people and been given the short end of the stick in every aspect of his life.

Lelouch spent his last night alive comforting his distraught murderer-to-be.

C.C. spent her last night as the witch to Lelouch's demon looking on from the doorway, wondering why the worst happened to those that wanted the best.

Suzaku spent his last night without a mask sobbing as he thought about how he'd be killing a person whose only crime was loving those close to him.

oOo

Morning came too quickly. Lelouch laughed at the ridiculous getup that Suzaku presented for him to wear, but put it on nonetheless. "A king has to look his best, right?"

Suzaku simply nodded and tried not to think about red on white. Instead, he explained that Lelouch would be attending an execution of dangerous prisoners, and that all he had to do was sit safely on the throne.

"You'll be with me, so that's why I'll be safe, right?" Lelouch peered up at his knight as they finished dressing him.

"I'll be there later." Grimly, Suzaku took Lelouch's thin wrist in his hands. "Please trust me when I say this is all according to a plan and it's exactly what you would have wanted."

And Lelouch smiled so brilliantly that it broke Suzaku's heart. "Of course. I trust you, my knight."

oOo

It goes like this:

The parade moves as it is supposed to, and stops where planned. Zero still appears, and still dodges bullets to leap up in front of Lelouch, who by now is confused and terrified as to why everyone seems to hate him and why no one is helping him, saving him from this man in front of him, and, oh gods, he's drawing a sword and Suzaku is, where is Suzaku, he promised, he trusted, he couldn't… "Suzaku!"

And then there is nothing but pain, and he hears, softly by his ear, "Lelouch." And he realizes that trust is something he shouldn't have put in anyone, much less Suzaku, but it had been Suzaku, so how could he not trust him?

He falls, and there's nothing he can do because he'd finally gotten Suzaku to be his knight but he really should have known that nothing is ever free or even fair for him in this world, and the crowd is cheering on his murderer, who is Suzaku, and nothing makes sense, and he stares at a beautiful blue sky and wonders if maybe the world is supposed to be a better place with him gone.

This is his last thought.

Suzaku is never the same. How can he justify killing his best friend? The man that placed all of his trust in him, but what are trust and love and friendship compared to the good of the world?

The truth is, Suzaku can't justify it. For what he knows is that the man that he killed that day was an innocent schoolboy that wanted nothing more than his friend by his side.


End file.
